Back and Forth

So I look around and see many of my friends going through relationship ups and downs. Breakups, makeups, coming and going. Back and forth and back again.  The problem is they "Go back" when they actually need to "start over". If you are willing to try again, it has to be with a clean slate. If you can't let go of the mistakes of the past, there is no hope for the future. This is not saying that you need to FORGET those things that happened and deeply hurt you, but for your own sanity you have to FORGIVE. If you can't...then turn around and walk away. Most of the time, going back is not the answer. It just feels easier to go back and ignore the problem instead of facing all of the unknown issues of starting a brand new relationship. If this is the case, then you are selling yourself short my friend. Life is about living and learning. It is about the experience...be that experience good or bad. It is not about eating vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life just because you've never had the nerve to taste black cherry, or Rocky Road...or the hundreds of other flavors out there. Eventually you will find a favorite. Like the seat you always choose in class, or that dish you always pick at your favorite restaurant even though you look at the menu for 15 minutes every time.  Sometimes you just KNOW what is going to make you happy. If you are holding on to someone for comfort, convenience or fear of being alone....Let go. On the other hand...you could look at it all like replaying a hand in a poker game that you lost. When given the same hand you already know the mistakes you made. You know what your opponent has and in your head, you already know if it is possible to win. Trust your instincts and use your knowledge. You will know, in your heart if it's worth going "all in" or folding. Either way the choice is yours, but so are the consequences.